


Always

by Asmicarus



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Friendship, Happy Ending, M/M, Maturing, Mikasa appreciation, Observing, POV Mikasa Ackerman, acknowledgment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-07-26 12:55:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7574806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asmicarus/pseuds/Asmicarus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mikasa will always be there to protect Eren. Even when she feels she has been left by him for Levi she will never give up on her best friend even if it seems she is being left behind...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Always

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all!  
> This is nice and short and sweet. You know me, no real angst!  
> I really love Mikasa as a character. I wanted to portray her as protective of Eren, but not to the point it makes her blind. Everyone gets jealous when it seems as though your friend has been taken by someone who has done nothing for them compared to all the times you have been there. I wanted to see how this dynamic would play out as Eren grows and matures and finds a relationship, but also as Mikasa matures and comes to her own realisations.  
> Okay, rant over! I own nothing. Feel free to point out punctuation errors and such.  
> Hope you enjoy! :D

I knew from the first moment I saw them together I was in trouble. Eren had always thought he was such an independent soul, but in reality he jumped from one decision to the next without a thought of what impact it may have for him. I envisioned myself as his logical rock to stand on, his shoulder to cry on and most importantly, his best friend. I was comfortable in this persona I had created for myself and no matter how much of a fuss Eren kicked up about me checking on him and making sure he was safe; I knew he was grateful for it too. We lived this way for so long. When we joined the cadets, Survey Corps, fought the female titan in Stohess, and even when we took back Wall Maria we operated on this same dynamic. Wherever Eren went I was right behind him. Like a shadow, or a ghost. This was just the way it was and the way it was always going to be. That was before he started to notice _him_.

At first I didn’t think anything of Eren spending some time with Corporal Levi. Eren had been under his jurisdiction for many years now. Despite my grudge from the trial still holding firm I have come to realize Levi isn’t the narcissistic and uncaring man I once thought he was. He had protected Eren when I could not and Eren had proved himself worthy of standing by his side in combat. I watched them talk idly with each other in the dining room late one summer night. They chatted not as superior and subordinate but friend to friend, equal to equal. I found myself almost wishing Levi was as nasty as I once thought. When Eren was with him he smiled genuinely, Levi looked comfortable, you’d think they had been friends for years. Of course I could talk comfortably with Eren, he is my best friend and had been longer than whatever this thing he had going with Levi was. It was just… something about seeing him with Levi felt different.

They’re sitting across from each other, eating and focused on what the other is saying. Eren leans an arm back over the chair confidently and a ghost of a smile appears on Levi’s usually sharp and calculating face. Eren had that power over people. His smile was infectious and invited even the sourest person to join in his positive mood. I took my food and briefly contemplated sitting at another table, but I saw the way Eren’s eyes fixed on Levi’s and decided it was probably best to join them in their discussion. To ensure they weren’t going over a plan that could compromise Eren’s safety. _Of course, Mikasa_ , the rational part of my thoughts butted into the forefront of my mind. _Green really isn’t an attractive colour on you._

Things had started to get serious. Not with the titans, not with the walls, or even with a new expedition. Eren had begun to train privately with Levi. It was a perfectly logical decision on Erwin’s part. Eren’s 3DMG skills were bound to get rusty what with him being in titan form for most of our battles. What better person to train with than an absolute master of the skill. I would like to think myself good at 3DMG, equal to Levi but that was widely debated amongst Survey Corps members both old and new alike. I happened upon one of their sessions by chance at the cleaning of a wide open window on the upper floor of the castle. Eren tried time and time again to complete a spinning evasion but wound up dangling by his wires over and over. I could hear his cussing even at this distance. I expected Levi to get tired of his outbursts and utter failure of technique, but it seemed every time he merely untangled Eren from his wires and told him to try again.

I was transfixed as Levi’s patience began to yield results. Half an hour later Eren was spinning with practiced ease amongst the trees with Levi zipping after him. Eren was laughing as they tried to tag each other and wrestle each other in midair. The rough play went on for a few moments before they settled in a nearby tree. The sun was going down and I noticed my shadow elongating on the wooden floor in the square of light created by the window. If I taught Eren like that he wouldn’t listen to me. He’d kick up a fuss and tell me not to baby him. I was all alone in the room just silently observing my friend’s happiness. Could I ever be that happy with another person?

Eren was injured in the next expedition outside the walls. Shortly after arriving back at base he was left in his room to heal. I sat silently by his side, waiting for him to wake. The white curtains blow gently into his room with the summer breeze pleasantly brushing my hair. It’s getting long, I’ll need to cut it soon. My gaze lingers over Eren’s face. The cut right beside his left eye is slowly disappearing back into unblemished skin and his split lip has already healed. I think back to the times we had come home as children for him only to be scolded by mother for getting into fights with the local bullies. Every time he would say he was looking out for Armin, but in reality I knew he wanted to prove himself to me that he didn’t need protecting. Eren was and always had been a trier. He would never give up without a fight. Whether it be reaching the biscuit jar on the top shelf as a child or ridding the world of titans as an adult I would support him no matter what. I would be right by his side. Eventually, his bleary green eyes did open to the world as Eren sprang back into consciousness. He sat up and barely acknowledged me before asking for Levi. I told myself I would always be beside him, even if he did not want me there.

Despite my promise my fate was sealed the next time I saw them together. It had been a week of nothingness. It was too hot to do any real training and we had cleaned the castle two times over. The sun was setting and turning the sky a pinkish hue as a warning of another hot day ahead. I stood in the same room of the castle I had a month ago once again watching Eren and Levi play lightheartedly amongst the trees, tagging, wrestling and just enjoying themselves. The sun was even lower as I observed them waking back to the castle. They were just about halfway around the corner when Eren placed a firm hand on Levi’s shoulder. They couldn’t have known I was watching. I felt my throat close up and shoulders tense as they made eye contact for a few moments. Eren took Levi’s waist and Levi stood on his toes to reach up to Eren’s lumbering height. Their lips met in the middle. I wanted to see hesitation, uncertainty, even lust. Anything that would indicate to me this was just a fleeting experiment that would pass like the river as it flows. It was not. Their lips were pressed together with certainty, Levi wound his arms around Eren’s neck. It hit me all at once, like a titan had swatted me from the air. They were in love. The world closed in as realizations dawned on me one after the other. Eren doesn’t need me anymore. He made his decision by himself, he’s in his twenties and is moving on with his life where I am still stuck with the same thoughts I had had since childhood. I feel a tear roll down my cheek and an emptiness crawls into my soul with an intent to stay.

I watched them kiss and they looked perfect. Eren had something of his own to care for after all the years spent being protected by me. I was snapped away from my thoughts when Levi broke away from Eren and looked me dead in the eyes. I stepped into the darkness of the room and did not look back.  
“What is it, Levi?”  
“Nothing. Just a gust of wind.”

I was beginning to wonder, at the start of Autumn, if anybody would notice my inner turmoil. Every single day I had seen Eren and Levi grow closer and closer and I felt more and more isolated as he spent his time with Levi. It wasn’t as if I didn’t have my other friends, it was just… Eren was special. This brings me to this point. I am sat in the corner of the grand hall in Wall Sina. A select few from each military branch had been invited to attend the Autumn banquet. The ballroom is huge and grand. It is exquisite in the very sense of the word. Ladies and gentlemen twirl across the polished marble floors and the smell of food is pleasantly filling the room. The whole thing is a celebration of perfection. Once again I am observing from the sidelines. Eren discreetly takes Levi’s hand to seek his comfort as they know they can’t be seen to dance together.

Levi looks over to me and a frown graces his face when he leans over to whisper in Eren’s ear. I take back everything I ever thought was decent about him. He’s a rude, insensitive, small-minded, narcissistic, bigoted, downright hurtful, inferior and-

The music had stopped.

I am wide eyed as I see dozens of sets of eyes turned in my direction. I look up and in front of me there is an outstretched hand. I follow that hand up to a wrist, a broad shoulder, a neck and then the most stunning pair of green eyes I have ever seen.  
“Mikasa, may I have this dance?” Eren looks at me with a gentle smile. I am about to take his hand but first a sneak a quick look to Levi. He is stood to the side with a small smile. He nods sideways in a gesture to take Eren’s offered hand. I didn’t need to be asked twice. I took Eren’s arm as he led me to the middle of the dancefloor. The music began and I suddenly understood where I had been wrong.

Yes, Eren might be old enough to make his own decisions, and yes, maybe he and Levi were hopelessly in love, but just because his relationship with Levi is different does not mean it has replaced mine. I still have a place in Eren’s life and his heart, it was just not the same as Levi’s. The overwhelming sensation hit me. I was not being replaced. I am still Eren’s logical rock to stand on, his shoulder to cry on and most importantly, his best friend. Just now, he had two very capable people looking out for him instead of just the one, and that was fine. With Eren and Levi as a couple I suppose the rest of their friends, me included, could make a little family. Me, Armin, Jean, Erwin, Hanji and the others, we could be happy like they were.

Our dance ended all too soon. Eren enveloped me in a tight hug, my face pressed against his chest. I sighed in relief and took Eren’s hand and walked to Levi, who was looking at us contently. I mouthed him a ‘thank you’ before handing Eren’s large palm into his smaller one. Eren took him into a subtle embrace before he turned back to me, now beaming from ear to ear.  
“Hey, Mikasa, will you still be there to protect me now?” the answer is still the same.  
“Always, Eren. Always.”


End file.
